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The New Green GM

Jul 26, 2009 by Tree Humper

Everything Else

cartoon by RJ Matson

Detroit,MI – General Motors, a company that hasn’t always been the most environmentally friendly, has recently undergone an eco makeover and is blazing a path to a more sustainable auto industry with some new green initiatives.

First on the block, GM has announced that because cars and trucks can be so harmful to the environment, they have decided not to make so many anymore.  Less cars on the roads means a much smaller environmental footprint (or profit, I forget what they said).

Of the cars that they do make, they are going to make them LESS safe.  Executives concluded that if they made their cars unsafer(er) it would encourage more environmentally friendly commuting, eg. walking or biking.   Plus there’s the added benefit that the materials they save not putting brakes or seat belts in their cars will reduce the company’s raw material consumption.

GM also understands that going green isn’t about going and buying a bunch of cool new “Green” gadgets, it’s about consuming less.  So rather than retrofitting their factories with trendy energy efficient equipment they are going to close their plants for 9 weeks!

Taking the initiative beyond the plant, while their employees are out on extended unpaid vacation they are going to encourage them to sleep for 20 hours a day so their energy consumption stays as low as the empty factories.

GM hopes other major auto manufactures follow suit and challenges them to be even greener and not even make any cars. Keep up the great work GM!

Cartoon by RJ Matson



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13 Responses to “The New Green GM”

  1. Enviralment Says:

    And, wait for it… they’re considering changing their logo colour to Green. Forget making cars that are economically and environmentally friendly that can compete with Toyota and Honda, let’s just change the colour of our logo. That will say and show that we’re all about the environment. Ra-tards.
    For more on GM and their stupidity including such idiots as Bob Lutz read this

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  2. xtremetrauma Says:

    This article is a complete bias of the American Automotive Industry. You have no basis for everything you say in this article that is written as though a 3rd grader wrote it. I believe the American Automotive industry has made substantial gain in the technology and development of newer, cleaner, fuel-efficient vehicles. I support them in every fashion.
    Why would you support a foreign economy (Japanese Cars) when lots of people around the world are anti-American. By the way, have you ever look researched and looked into the component of Japanese cars, they might have good engines and decent interiors, but their safety sucks. They are fiber glass and foam, they barely have an steel or aluminum components. Whenever you get in an accident in your cheap peace of crap you will know why.

    Reply

    • Tree Humper Says:

      Thank you for the kind words, I actually start 3rd grade next week. I’ve been told that I am “special” and sometimes even write at a 4th grade level! I can also ride my bike with no hands!

      Unfortunately I only read at a pre-K level so maybe you can help me find where in the article I said we support Japanese car companies? We here at Tree Humper are huge supporters of the American Car industry hence this homage to GM. Some day if you are lucky, you may be so honored as to be made fun of by Tree Humper. Don’t question my patriotism or I may be forced to go America all over your ass! God bless America and the baby Jesus!

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  3. Blake Rogers Says:

    going green is always the best thing to do. it helps the environment a lot.”"”

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  4. Michael Williams Says:

    everything should be green these days, let us help mother earth*–

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    going green is probably a wise choice because we need to protect our environment`.*

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  6. Electric Burner : Says:

    we should always Go Green to help the environment, always use products that are earth friendly`”-

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    it is always a good idea to go green because we always want to help the environment ;:`

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