"they are a little scratchy"
Fullerton, CA – After a five year battle with Greenpeace, paper products company Kimberly-Clark had agreed to stop chopping down the ancient Boreal forest to make their Kleenex brand tissues. In order to eliminate further deforestation on their part, Kimberly-Clark has replaced the paper tissues with fluffy kittens.
The new product line has be very well received by consumer, only a few complaining that the new tissues are a little scratchy.
Wipe your nose on these!
Unfortunately Kleenex, you can’t make everyone happy and they are now under fire from PETA. Inspired by Greenpeaces Kleercut campaign PETA has launched a “Kleercat” campaign, diluting the pun even further (we recommended KittenHumper.com but apparently Glenn Beck already has that domain).
At a launch event scantily clad PETA representatives encouraged sniffly nosed passers by to save a kitten by wiping their noses on their generously augmented breasts. When asked if they would eventually cave to the PETA pressure Kimberly-Clark spokeswoman Kimberly Clark had this to say:
“It’s not likely. The kittens were a win-win choice. We are saving trees plus kittens are cheap as hell and everybody loves them! Boobs in a box is something we tossed around one of our focus groups but ultimately it didn’t fit with our commitment to family values. As far as the media campaign, Greenpeace is hardcore, we just couldn’t take it anymore, but PETA, well they are kinda pussies, so we’re not too worried.”
One thing is for certain, those Kleenexes are cute as hell!
@TreeHumper
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August 21st, 2009 at 5:32 pm
But did that kitten ever escape from the box?
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August 21st, 2009 at 5:46 pm
He did. He waited until lights out then made a paper mache replica of his head and snuck out through a whole he dug in the wall behind his Rachel Welch poster.
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August 21st, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Eliminates dry itchy noses… by biting them off!
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August 21st, 2009 at 5:58 pm
That is the cutest attack I have ever seen!
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August 21st, 2009 at 6:38 pm
You clearly have not seen this attack:
Or is this a new paper free diaper?
August 21st, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Where can I get some of those paperless diapers? Or a cat-training manual…
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November 25th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Oh, darling, let your body in, let it tie you in, in comfort.
August 21st, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Video is SO CUTE: RT @mattgup: Kimberly-Clark Saves Trees with Kittens in a Box http://bt.io/8B2
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August 21st, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Green satire. RT @treehumper Kimberly-Clark gives in to Greenpeace but pisses off PETA w/ Kitty Kleenex: http://bit.ly/1ULezt
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August 21st, 2009 at 8:08 pm
lolz! RT @greenbiztweets @treehumper Kimberly-Clark gives in to Greenpeace but pisses off PETA w/ Kitty Kleenex: http://bit.ly/1ULezt
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August 25th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Why not puppies in a box?
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