Fullerton, CA – After a five year battle with Greenpeace, paper products company Kimberly-Clark had agreed to stop chopping down the ancient Boreal forest to make their Kleenex brand tissues. In order to eliminate further deforestation on their part, Kimberly-Clark has replaced the paper tissues with fluffy kittens.
The new product line has be very well received by consumer, only a few complaining that the new tissues are a little scratchy.
Unfortunately Kleenex, you can’t make everyone happy and they are now under fire from PETA. Inspired by Greenpeaces Kleercut campaign PETA has launched a “Kleercat” campaign, diluting the pun even further (we recommended KittenHumper.com but apparently Glenn Beck already has that domain).
At a launch event scantily clad PETA representatives encouraged sniffly nosed passers by to save a kitten by wiping their noses on their generously augmented breasts. When asked if they would eventually cave to the PETA pressure Kimberly-Clark spokeswoman Kimberly Clark had this to say:
“It’s not likely. The kittens were a win-win choice. We are saving trees plus kittens are cheap as hell and everybody loves them! Boobs in a box is something we tossed around one of our focus groups but ultimately it didn’t fit with our commitment to family values. As far as the media campaign, Greenpeace is hardcore, we just couldn’t take it anymore, but PETA, well they are kinda pussies, so we’re not too worried.”
One thing is for certain, those Kleenexes are cute as hell!