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Kimberly-Clark Saves Trees with Kittens in a Box

Aug 21, 2009 by Tree Humper

Talky Pictures

"they are a little scratchy"

"they are a little scratchy"

Fullerton, CA – After a five year battle with Greenpeace, paper products company Kimberly-Clark had agreed to stop chopping down the ancient Boreal forest to make their Kleenex brand tissues.  In order to eliminate further deforestation on their part, Kimberly-Clark has replaced the paper tissues with fluffy kittens.

The new product line has be very well received by consumer, only a few complaining that the new tissues are a little scratchy.

Wipe your nose on these!

Wipe your nose on these!

Unfortunately Kleenex, you can’t make everyone happy and they are now under fire from PETA.  Inspired by Greenpeaces Kleercut campaign PETA has launched a “Kleercat” campaign, diluting the pun even further (we recommended KittenHumper.com but apparently Glenn Beck already has that domain).

At a launch event scantily clad PETA representatives encouraged sniffly nosed passers by to save a kitten by wiping their noses on their generously augmented breasts.  When asked if they would eventually cave to the PETA pressure Kimberly-Clark spokeswoman Kimberly Clark had this to say:

“It’s not likely.  The kittens were a win-win choice.  We are saving trees plus kittens are cheap as hell and everybody loves them!  Boobs in a box is something we tossed around one of our focus groups but ultimately it didn’t fit with our commitment to family values.  As far as the media campaign,  Greenpeace is hardcore, we just couldn’t take it anymore, but PETA, well they are kinda pussies, so we’re not too worried.”

One thing is for certain, those Kleenexes are cute as hell!



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36 Responses to “Kimberly-Clark Saves Trees with Kittens in a Box”

  1. Becky Says:

    But did that kitten ever escape from the box?

    Reply

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  2. Tree Humper Says:

    Eliminates dry itchy noses… by biting them off!

    Reply

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  3. Derek Says:

    Where can I get some of those paperless diapers? Or a cat-training manual…

    Reply

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  4. caldwell Says:

    Oh, darling, let your body in, let it tie you in, in comfort.

    Reply

  5. Masupik Says:

    Great tips to follow. Being professional and showing them there’s more to come I think are the most important. You need to give them a great article, that makes them want to come back. And then make sure you don’t disappoint.

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  6. Crystal Hostetter Says:

    Hi, nice blog! Just a note to any cat lovers living on the Algarve. I’ve lived in Portugal for 6 years and normally struggle to find anywhere for my cats to stay if I return to England to see friends and family. A friend in Alvor directed me to Cock Hill Cattery near Almancil (www.cockhillcattery.com) and I have to say that I’m VERY happy that she did! The proprietor, Jill, really goes out of her way to make your cats comfortable. You could do a lot worse than give her a call if you need somewhere for your babies :)

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  26. elaan Says:

    Video is SO CUTE: RT @mattgup: Kimberly-Clark Saves Trees with Kittens in a Box http://bt.io/8B2

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  27. greenbiztweets Says:

    Green satire. RT @treehumper Kimberly-Clark gives in to Greenpeace but pisses off PETA w/ Kitty Kleenex: http://bit.ly/1ULezt

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  28. campingblogger Says:

    lolz! RT @greenbiztweets @treehumper Kimberly-Clark gives in to Greenpeace but pisses off PETA w/ Kitty Kleenex: http://bit.ly/1ULezt

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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  29. closet_ginger Says:

    Why not puppies in a box?

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Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. [...] giant Kimberly-Clark has been trying to reverse years of bad environmental press, and earlier this year was recognized by the EPA for being one of the top buyers of green power. [...]

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