Treehumper

Protecting those species of animals that are close to extinction because of human practices is a high priority for me. What more noble calling could there be than trying to stop the meaningless slaughter of defenseless animals, or curbing mankind’s relentless push into the habitats of our planet’s co-inhabitants? It is a crucial issue, but I have to say, this endangered dolphin is just delicious.

Look, I completely agree that we need to stop cutting down rainforests and overfishing the bluefin tuna population, but when a porpoise tastes like this it can’t be all bad. It’s tender, somewhat sweet, and the pinch of saffron I added in the last minute of sautéing really puts the finishing touches on a delightful meal.

Let’s all just focus on the polar bear for a minute while I finish this last bit of dolphin sweetbreads. The polar ice caps are melting at an astonishing rate thanks to the billions of tons of carbon dioxide that we pump into the atmosphere every year. Soon enough, those cuddly carnivores won’t be able to survive, and are likely to go extinct. This is a tragedy for a lot of reasons, not least of which is that I hear polar bear meat can be exceptionally tender and flavorful.

I mean, let’s keep our eyes on the ball here, okay? This dolphin, if allowed to continue its rapid plummet toward extinction, will never grace my table and small intestine ever again. And honestly, what better tribute to our animal brethren than to absorb their beautiful biodiversity directly into our digestive tracts? It’s the circle of life, and it tastes wonderful.

(Photo via VirtualErn)