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Death Panels to be Made from Reclaimed Wood

Sep 12, 2009 by Tree Humper

Broken News


In the much anticipated speech on Wednesday night President Obama finally quelled the death panel fears when he announced that the health care bill’s death panels would be made of all reclaimed, chemical free wood.  The bill’s tree humping supporters have supported the death panels from the beginning but feared that, through the channels of compromise, they would end up being made from arsnic treated virgin forest wood or some kind of cheesy veneer panneling.

W000795[1]Not everyone was convinced by Obama’s pledge to make the panels environmentally friendly.  Letting his passion for environmentalism get the better of him, South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson shouted out “You lie!” when Obama made the claim.  Since the speech, Wilson has been showered with praise from both the left and the right for his thoughtful yet susinct contribution to the political discourse.

Wilson’s claim was confirmed in Thursday’s press conference, when Robert Gibbs conceeded that the wood for the death panels would be “reclaimed” from the Amazon Rainforest, claiming that they aren’t really using it anyway.

Inspiration: Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me

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One Response to “Death Panels to be Made from Reclaimed Wood”

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