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Oil Spill Commission Report: Everyone Did Great Except for Tom in Marketing
According to a new report from the National Oil Spill Commission looking into the causes of the Gulf disaster, everyone involved did a super job except for one jackass in the BP marketing department.
Continue reading...New Congressional Leaders Deny Climate Change, as well as Climate, Change
11. November 2010
In an apparent game of one-upmanship, Republican members of Congress continue to doubt the existence of human-caused climate change. But they haven't stopped there.
Continue reading...Maldives President Installs Own Solar Panels, Skips Town
11. October 2010
The president of the low-lying island nation of the Maldives helped install solar panels on the roof of his official residence, but then apparently fled the country in the middle of the night. A panicked voice message left with the Associated Press from the president cited the fact that as a country, "the Maldives are totally fucked."
Continue reading...Citing Oil Spill as Deciding Blow, Environment Concedes Defeat
24. June 2010
In a tearful press conference on Thursday, the environment said it would finally have to concede defeat at the hands of humanity.
Continue reading...Whales of the World Launch “Krill Baby Krill” Campaign
10. May 2010
In an apparent effort to jump on the oil spill pun bandwagon, a coalition of the world's baleen whales has launched a lobbying and advertising campaign sporting the slogan "Krill Baby Krill!"
Continue reading...Earth Day Swears It’s Turning “A Young 36″
5. April 2010
In spite of widespread publicity on Earth Day's impending 40th birthday, the worldwide celebration of all things environmentally friendly insisted it is only turning 36 years old on April 22.
Continue reading...Breaking: Passage of Health Care Reform Doesn’t Mean Shit for Climate Bill
22. March 2010
In a historic vote on Sunday, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a sweeping reform of the health care system in this country. Almost immediately, pundits began hypothesizing on the effect that this progressive success will have on another of President Obama's goals, a comprehensive climate and energy bill. The consensus is that no one has any fucking idea.
Continue reading...Nuclear Waste to be Stored at Disney’s Big Thunder Mountain
17. March 2010
The Department of Energy withdrew its decades-old application to turn Yucca Mountain in Nevada into a permanent nuclear waste storage facility, but quickly replaced it with a new site: Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland.
Continue reading...Maldives Orders a “Shit-Ton” of Sandbags
22. February 2010
An international purchase agreement revealed yesterday that the low-lying island nation of the Maldives has ordered an extremely large number of sandbags from multiple companies in the United States and Europe. A representative of the Maldives government responded to an e-mail question of what the bags are for as follows: "We are expecting a bit of flooding."
Continue reading...Senator McConnell Goes Into Real Lions’ Den, Doesn’t Come Out
30. January 2010
In an effort to match President Obama's show of bipartisanship when he spoke to and fielded questions from Republican House leaders on Friday, Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell (R—Ken.) took a symbolic and apparently fatal approach.
Continue reading...- Oil Spill, Seagal or Van Damme? A Terminology Quiz
- Citing Oil Spill as Deciding Blow, Environment Concedes Defeat
- Editorial: Wind turbines? NIMBYOSHMGIWFCY.
- Editorial: I'm Just Going to Stop Cleaning This Oily Bird If It Can't Drop the Attitude
- Murkowski Proposes Resolution Blocking Agencies From Doing Agency Stuff
- Maldives President Installs Own Solar Panels, Skips Town
- Climate Bill is Dead, Long Live the - Ah, F*ck It
- Live BP Spill Coverage (video)
- Oil Spill Commission Report: Everyone Did Great Except for Tom in Marketing
- Goin' Green on Nick Swardson's Pretend Time
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- Ronna Sundermeyer: Colin is NOT gay but I did hear that he had the "p...
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14. January 2011
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